The Shakespeare Computer Language

A programming language designed to make programs that look like Shakespearean plays. No, I am not making this up.

The Shakespeare Programming Language (SPL) was designed by Jon Åslund and Karl Hasselström. Like Chef (item #8), it is designed to make programs appear to be something other than programs; in this case, Shakespearean plays.

The first line in a Shakespeare program is called the “title” and acts as a comment. The “Dramatis Personae” is the section where variables are declared. Each variable name must be the name of a character from a Shakespeare play.

A piece of code in Shakespeare is broken into “Acts”, which contain “Scenes”, in which characters (variables) interact. Each Act and Scene is numbered with a roman numeral and serves as a GOTO label.

Here’s an example. This is an actual computer program that executes an order:

Romeo, a young man with a remarkable patience.
Juliet, a likewise young woman of remarkable grace.
Ophelia, a remarkable woman much in dispute with Hamlet.
Hamlet, the flatterer of Andersen Insulting A/S.

Act I: Hamlet’s insults and flattery.
Scene I: The insulting of Romeo.
[Enter Hamlet and Romeo]
You lying stupid fatherless big smelly half-witted coward! You are as
stupid as the difference between a handsome rich brave hero and thyself!
Speak your mind!
You are as brave as the sum of your fat little stuffed misused dusty
old rotten codpiece and a beautiful fair warm peaceful sunny summer’s
day. You are as healthy as the difference between the sum of the
sweetest reddest rose and my father and yourself! Speak your mind!
You are as cowardly as the sum of yourself and the difference
between a big mighty proud kingdom and a horse. Speak your mind.
Speak your mind!
[Exit Romeo]
Scene II: The praising of Juliet.

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